Thursday, May 8, 2014

Dear Hemmy, I'm Sorry

(Sorry, Hemmy.)

Mr. E.L. Hutton

Hometown Magazine

4962 Sky Lane Terrace

Indianapolis, Indiana 46204

 February 16, 1920

Dear Mr. Hemingway,

Thank you for thinking of us for your short story, “Up in Michigan.” We were intrigued by your

submission, and I’m happy to say that our mutual friend, Paul Dunning of the Toronto Star, was

right in referring you to us. We would be happy to publish your work if you would just make a few

minor corrections.

The editors and I all agree that you need to add a few more illuminating aphorisms. After all, Mr.

Hemingway, we live in a time of grand ideals and our readers would be interested in the advise of

an honored veteran. As you served our country in the Great War, so you are a symbol yourself.

These readers could be lost in the mire of classic literature, or they could find their bearing through

our own humble publication, educating and directing the American Ideal through literature. Our

kind and passionate readers need only the sage advise from patriots that have American

viewpoints. I’m sure you agree.

We also believe that adding a few more adjectives and adverbs will make the prose a little easier to

read. Have you ever read from The Mississippian? There was a story published in it last November

titled “Landing on Luck” from a young writer named Faulkner. Mayhaps you could take a look at

it and his use of description. We believe this is more in keeping with our publication and with what

is happening in the literary world. Your minimalistic approach is a good start, but we need you to

fill in the blanks with a bit more flowery language.

Also, may I add that you put the ending back (if there was one)? There doesn’t seem to be any

obvious conclusion, and instead it somewhat drops off. Just give us a paragraph or two that seems

to wrap everything up and I’m sure we’ll be in good shape.

Please make these recommended changes and mail them back to the publisher with my name in

“Care Of” underneath. I’m very pleased to be working with you. I think your writing is

straightforward and earnest, and we thank you for your service abroad.


Mr. E. L. Hutton

Miss Amy Kyle

1 comment:

  1. Lol. Oh Dear, I can only imagine the "flowery language" he had in response to that!