Dear Sylvia, I'm Sorry.

Writers work hard.

Yet we get rejection letters. Usually replies come in the form of "Thanks, but no thanks," but some of them are uncharacteristically harsh. So Writer's Digest started a new prompt for their writers. It's called "Reject a Hit" and the idea is to write a "clueless" and humorous rejection letter for a favorite hit or classic. Others that I've seen have been for The Godfather, Breakfast at Tiffany's, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Befitting the requirement, they're crass, clueless, attacking, and, well, funny.

So here's mine: to Sylvia Plath regarding The Bell Jar.
(I'm sorry, Sylvia.)

January 29^th, 1963

Dear Mrs. Hughes,

Sorry –is it Mrs. Hughes, or Miss Plath, or Miss Lucas?

Unfortunately, Prescott Publishers is unable to accept The Bell Jar at this time. 

Just as we don’t know which name to use for you, it likewise seems to be a problem with your main character. We don’t know that her name is Esther until thirty pages into the book, after you’ve already told the reader that even her roommate acts like her name is Elly. She lies about her name again later. If we don’t even know what her name is, how can the reader attach to her as a protagonist –or care that she’s in New York? In fact, the only thing we do know about Esther are her strange tendencies to eat. (At least avocados in her grandfather’s suitcase are interesting.) She is more believable as an adolescent male teenager than as a woman starting a career.

What’s this mantra, “I am I am I am I am”? If she knows who she is so well, how come we don’t?

The protagonist’s identity crisis is not the only crisis this novel has: it has no plot. From what I can tell, the only driving question is whether Esther will kill herself –something that doesn’t appear to have much risk for the reader.

You have one thing going for you: the writing voice. Even though what Esther says is bafflingly inconsistent, at least her curiosity remains. This would be much more powerful for a story that actually had plot. We may be willing to look at the manuscript a second time -once you create real structure. This winter is said to be the coldest in 100 years: stay indoors and rewrite.

Sincerely,

Kristen Kauffman

Senior Editor

Prescott Publishers